Jesus: The Wonder Years
The biggest contradiction in the bible?
The law/commandments are to remain forever
- Matt 5:17-19, Luke 16:17
The law has ended
- Romans 7:4, Eph 2:15, Col 2:14
In my opinion, this may be the biggest fault in the entire bible.
To my reasoning, if we say that Matt and Luke are true, all that Old Testament bullshit stands (such as being stoned to death for working on Sunday, Reverend- oh yeah! you are, uh, circumsized aren’t you? and so on. Just read the OT, it’ll kill ya!… that is unless Paul is right, in which case you can ignore it).
But if the old testament views are no longer valid, the very prophecies that christians claim validate the messiah risk being thrown out with the bathwater.
Paradoxical ain’t it?
Do as I say, not as I do…er, something like that anyway
Jesus instructed his disciples not to go anywhere near Gentiles or Samaritans, but to go to "the lost sheep of the house of Israel"
- Matt l0:5-6
Jesus wanted to enter Samaria, but was prevented from doing so by the Samaritans (so much for omnipotence)
- Luke 9:52
Jesus supposedly even heals a Samaritan
- Luke l7:ll-l6
Jesus’ mission to the Samaritans goes even further when jesus goes into Samaria where many are converted
- John 4:4,5, 39-42
Anointy, nointy
All four gospels have the story of jesus being anointed by a woman, but…
It took place after the entry into Jerusalem on his head
- Matt 26:6-l3, Mark l4:2-11
She anoints his feet, and just before jesus enters Jerusalem
- John 12:3
Or long before the arrival in Jerusalem during the early ministry, putting perfume(not oil) on his feet and drying them with her hair
- Luke 7:36-50
Was blind but now can see
The blind man healed had once seen
- Mark 8:24
no, wait- he had been blind from birth
- John 9:1
I find it interesting that the story according to Mark shows that jesus had to try twice to accomplish sight "restoration" and his account ends with the man being told not to go into town and tell anyone.
John’s account is much more colorful and has jesus succeeding on the first attempt. John’s jesus doesn’t need any do-overs. And once the man is healed, he goes immediately into town and tells everyone. Big-mouth.
Plead the fifth?
he’s got the whole world in his hands(?)
God has given all things into jesus’ hands
- John 3:35
Yet, john quickly contradicts himself and tells us that god has not given all things into jesus’ hands
- John 5:19, also – Matt 20:23
More is better, right?
The healing on leaving Jericho was 1 blind man
- Mark 10:46, 47
The healing on leaving Jericho was 2 blind men
- Matt 20:29,30
The exorcist
The exorcism of Legion – 2 men
- Matt 8:28
The exorcism of Legion – 1 man
- Mark 5:1,2
Jesus’ first sermon
stood on a mount
- Matt 5:1,2
stood in a plain
- Luke 6:17, 20
Only in the bible are "mount" and "plain" synonyms.